What are the worst grandparenting challenges and how can you overcome them?
According to the majority, grandparenting should be all sunshine and rainbows when you get along with your grandkids and everything is fine. But this is just the tip of the iceberg because there are a lot of challenges a lot of seniors have to face, and not many are brave enough to talk about them. That’s why here at Golden Years Bliss, we tackle every sensitive topic, even those people shy away from.
If you are going through these grandparenting challenges and you don’t see a way out, keep reading these lines. Even if nothing magically changes over the night, I am sure you will feel a lot better knowing that you’re not alone in the boat and that there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
1. Mental stress
One of the first grandparenting challenges is mental stress. Now you’re a parent for the second time in your life, and even if you did a great job with your kids, raising your grandchildren is a completely different task. It is supposed to be easy, right? But in reality, it isn’t.
Now you’re older than you were when you had your first kid, and most probably you aren’t that patient either. Most grandparents face the challenge of sadness and anger and can’t hide their feelings very well. This usually reflects on the grandkids, who feel uncomfortable in the presence of their grandparents.
For instance, grandkids can get angry because they don’t understand why their parents leave them with grandparents for the entire summer or why they are unable to live with their parents. Reasons, why they don’t live with their parents, can be various, but sometimes it’s harder to put the situation into words and explain them accordingly.
This may cause your grandchildren to display problematic behavior, which will be quite stressful for you as a grandparent to handle. To avoid lashing out at your grandkids, consider joining support groups if you feel guilty, angry, or disappointed.
Support groups are often free to attend, but it’s wise to do a bit of research before signing up. Alternatively, a therapist might be helpful if you are embarrassed to discuss your problems with large groups of people.
2. Loneliness and social isolation
When it comes to grandparenting challenges, social isolation, and loneliness are two of the most common ones. Due to their hectic parenting schedules, grandparents who look after their grandkids sometimes struggle to find time for themselves which leads to feelings of loneliness. They also frequently find it difficult to attend church and community events and to spend enough time with other family members and friends.
If this happens to you too, and even if you love your grandchildren, you still need to have your own life, socialize, and be active in your community of friends. Find a trusted childcare center that can take the kids over for a couple of hours while you also do your things.
In case a childcare center is too expensive, you can also ask a close friend to help you with watching the kid. These are minor things, but they count so much to help you keep away stress and depression.
3. Financial issues
This is one of the worst grandparenting challenges, and it applies mostly to those who must take care of their grandkids permanently for various reasons. Truth be told, with this inflation and skyrocketing prices, it is often impossible to have everything you need to live decently for a family of two. But what happens when there is a third member in the family?
The extra expenses of raising a child, such as health care, insurance, daycare, and meeting all of the child’s basic needs, could be beyond the budget of grandparents. Some of them might have to reduce their hours worked, give up their employment, or make financial sacrifices, which will reflect later in their retirement.
I know this situation seems overwhelming and hard to get through, but you might also think about investing as a long-term financial plan. Some of the best investment options are stocks and bonds, IRAs, and the 529 Plan.
4. Health issues
For grandparents who must take care of their grandkids and become parents again, it can seem an impossible challenge. Because of the children’s high level of activity or health issues, they might not think they can keep up with their grandkids.
If you fall into this category, it’s critical to keep up a nutritious diet, engage in regular exercise, take your medicine, and schedule frequent examinations. Furthermore, your grandchildren must have their current vaccinations to protect them from dangerous sicknesses, even if they don’t live with you permanently. By following these guidelines, you can strengthen your bond and enjoy quality time together.
I know that’s easier said than done, but dear grandparent, you are not alone! While this life may come with a ton of challenges, you can still find the beauty in it. That’s why I recommend you check out this book about modern grandparenting by the doctor Georgia Witkin. It’s available in both paperback and Kindle formats on Amazon for less than $20.
5. Educational issues
To raise their grandkids, grandparents might need to figure out how to help with a child’s school enrollment. If you don’t remember stuff from school it can be quite challenging to help them with homework so it’s either you try to keep up with the educational plans or you hire tutors to help with their assignments.
Given how much child care has changed since you were a parent, you can even feel disconnected from what’s going on at your grandchildren’s school.
What can you do to overcome grandparenting challenges?
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Stay positive
Given that you are older now than you were when you were a parent, you could experience periods of exhaustion, stress, or distraction. When you’re not home, you may feel judgmental about things like the parents’ excessive screen time allowance.
I advise you to concentrate on finding constructive ways to engage with the grandchildren to get over these feelings. Remember that you used to be a child too; treat them with greater gentleness. To make everyone feel better, try to discover solutions for the issues.
Nobody likes to witness their grandparents act like tyrants!
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Be a role model for your grandkids
Although they may intend well, it’s possible that your children are under much more stress than you are and aren’t giving their kids the greatest emotional environment possible.
If your kids have issues with this matter, show them how to become better parents by modeling good parenting habits yourself, and instead of being overly judgmental, give them credit for at least trying to.
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Think of you and your grandkid as a team
Last but not least, one of the methods of coping with grandparenting challenges is to work with your grandkids. If until now you were trying to show them that you know better, stop right there! Resist the urge to do it again and start thinking about this teamwork.
You don’t have to be the best grandparent, just as they don’t have to be the best grandkids. Try to be more affectionate with them; ask them questions about school and things they enjoy doing. Imagine a fun game where each participant shares something unique about themselves. It’s a great way to get to know each other and build a stronger connection. By taking turns to reveal something personal, you can create a safe and welcoming environment for everyone involved.
You may also be interested in reading 7 Things You Should ALWAYS Talk About with Your Grandkids.