Do you want to visit your grandkids? Find out how to make the most of your visit!
According to a 2019 AARP survey, more than 50% of American families have to deal with distances of more than 200 miles between grandchildren and grandparents. Considering that 67 million adults are grandparents right now in the US, this affects many people. This is why you might want to visit your grandkids more often, but are there any rules you should follow?
Being a long-distance grandparent is not easy, but the best part about all of this is that you can be a guest in the house where your grandkids live. When you get the chance to live in the same home with your grandkids and their parents, you will be able to embrace the whole grandparenting experience to the fullest.
Unfortunately, many grandparents who choose to be stay-in guests at their grandchildren’s homes report family conflict. You can avoid this by learning a few things that will transform you into the best guest possible. Your adult children will be grateful after your next visit!
Ready to visit your grandkids?
1. Be self-sufficient
It might sound a little bit harsh, but when you decide to visit your grandkids, you need to be aware beforehand that their parents don’t want one more person to take care of them. This means you will need to take care of yourself as much as you can.
One of the first things you can do to make it right is to be extra careful when you start packing for this trip. Make sure you have all of the essentials. If you have any special needs, such as a special pillow or a fan, please take them with you from the start.
Also, don’t forget your medication, if you take any. If you need special food, it is a good idea to have a plan about how to obtain it in the new location where you will live for a while. Keep in mind that nowadays there are a lot of grocery stores that offer delivery service, so this can save you from carrying food with you.
If you want to avoid getting sick while you visit your grandkids, a good tip would be to be careful and not get overtired. This can happen more than you think when you have your grandkids around and can lead to sickness.
2. Give private time
When you visit your grandkids, you want to spend as much time as possible with them and also with their family. However, sometimes you will need to allow private time and give your host family space to breathe for a while.
From time to time, just retreat in your room, go outside for a walk or read something while standing on the patio or porch. This will give the family privacy, and you will be able to enjoy some time for yourself.
Spending some time by yourself while you visit your grandkids can help you refresh and relieve distress. This means you will need to have a plan for these moments. Think about what you like doing in your free time. For example, you can take books with you, a yoga mat, or your knitting needles.
If things get too intense, try to give the family more alone time, go for a longer drive, or take a nap. Most probably, things will be better when you come back; you will be less stressed, and your host family will be happier to see you again.
3. Respect the rules of the parents
One thing you will notice when you visit your grandkids is that their parents have rules. Maybe some of them will sound strange, or you might not understand them until later, but keep in mind that you will need to respect them no matter what.
Even more, respect the time partners want to spend with their kids. We know that you want to spend the most time with your grandchildren but try not to interfere with the relationship they have with their parents. This is especially true if you have an infant grandchild.
If your grandkids are older, be sure the parents will be more than happy that you spend time with them and keep them entertained. But do your best and respect bedtime and cuddle time with your parents. Respect the rules of the parents and don’t fall into the classic trap that says grandparents can spoil. This is not how things work, and you better avoid doing it.
4. Help the parents with household tasks
Most times, parents are busy with work when you go to visit your grandkids, and a great way to bond with them is to help them out with some household chores. First of all, something that will help the most is to always clean up after yourself. Make your bed, clean your dishes, and don’t let your toiletries sit all over the bathroom.
If you want to go a step further and enjoy doing it, you can help with other cleaning tasks and also cook. The secret here would be to choose the tasks you can do without asking the parents for a lot of instructions. Chopping onions? Folding towels? Almost anyone can do this.
We advise you to stay away from things like home repairs, reorganization, or deep cleaning if no one asks you to do any of these. Since this is not your home, you don’t know how the parents want things to be, so better stay away.
5. Avoid conflict and have a positive attitude
The right mindset when you visit your grandkids is to keep a positive attitude. After all, it will be like a vacation where you get to see your loved one, so why be upset when you can be happy and celebrate every moment you get to spend with your grandchildren and their parents?
One rule to always follow when you want to avoid conflict is to never criticize the parents. We know that sometimes you might feel that things are not how they are supposed to be, but don’t start criticizing. This can be annoying, and even if you think it is friendly advice, your parents will not take it as you imagine.
As a rule of thumb, avoid any topic that can cause conflict. This is the easiest way to maintain balance, so don’t start a fight. Instead, see what the host likes to talk about, and if you also enjoy it, try to start conversations in that direction.
Next time you visit your grandkids and you want to spend some quality time with them, you can try to play some board games. And what better game to play than the good old Ludo? You can purchase this magnetic version for a good price from Amazon: Ludo Magnetic Folding Travel Board Game Set – 9.75 Inches
We know that being a grandparent can be a real challenge, but you can learn more about the subject and become better as you gain more experience. This is why we think that this article might interest you: 5 Major Grandparenting Challenges and How to Overcome Them
